Aquadisiac
by Sunscorched
Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette lands Arthur Curry into a world of vampire detective agencies that have lobsters for logos, a demon run auction and ugly gray blobby things.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Arthur Curry sighed as he stared at the ocean, eyes focused on the white surf that ruffled the blue and grinned at the noise that came each time it touched the shore. Kids laughed gleefully, their arms high above their heads while they ran from the tide that chased them. He couldn't count the amount of buckets and spades, nor could he count the amount of sand castles built, but the sight did his heart a world of good.

He'd seen some horrors in his years and being able to witness such happy little people going about their little lives made those horrors worth it. Wasn't just the horrors of life that made him appreciate the sight, but the fact there were still some kids who saw good times when not sat in front of a games console or thought fun came from anything materialistic. Sure, he enjoyed a video game as well as the next guy, yet he got most of his joys from what Mother Earth gave.

AC's grin increased when he spotted some rather nice looking ladies wearing skimpy bits of nothing.

Ladies in bikinis were another thing he thanked the good Mother for.

Without the sun drenched beaches of Los Angeles, there would be no babes for him to appreciate. At the same, he wished those fine women fully understand the dangers of sun and UV rays. Nature was all good and well, but it was also something to be respected and just like everything and everyone, a person could be harmed through ignorance.

It was one thing he didn't understand.

How people, both men and women, could be led to believe what equated to beauty. Like a heavy tan or thin figures and plastic surgery. Perfect teeth didn't make a perfect smile, silicone didn't make perfect breasts, and Botox didn't make perfect anything. Botox was in fact botchalism and yes, it had excellent uses for those with severe disabilities, but for a beauty tool?

As far as he was concerned, those who thought that was beauty had never seen the night sky.

The voice of his buddy turned AC's attention from the beach and all its joys to the couple opposite him.

"I know I put it in here." Chloe Sullivan said, face half covered by a big straw hat and right arm half swallowed by her large purse.

"Here, lemme look."

AC hid his chuckle with a sip of beer as Oliver Queen began to pull stuff out of said purse and put them on the table.

Though he was used to Watchtower carrying her life in that purse of hers, it still never ceased to amaze just exactly how much she could pack in there. Cell phone, little laptop, handheld Pacman game, makeup and was that a packet of latex gloves?

"Found it!" Oliver stated with a triumphant expression and pulled out a bottle of sun block. "Lift your head."

AC sat back to watch Chloe do as told, then winced at the redness on her nose. It looked incredibly sore, even with the sun screen she'd applied throughout the day. Unfortunately for her, sun cream wouldn't do much good now that the burn had already set up camp.

He looked at the other girls. "Either of you got any aloe vera?"

Mia Deardon was the first one to check and the flash of sadness on the face of Victor Stone made his chest hurt for the poor guy.

Though Victor hadn't touched her as far as touching went, but he had been loosely holding her hand and the question gave her reason to quickly move from that hand holding. Knowing the robot as he did, it was only too obviously to see Vic's sadness was for what Mia had to do in order to survive, much like Vic himself, AC realised.

While only Ollie and Chloe knew what the girl's life consisted of before the League, the rest of them had their guesses. When Mia hadn't been there, they'd often discussed what they'd like too do to her father for his hand in her hellish upbringing. Of course, acting on those desires would make them no better than daddy dearest, but it was the thought that counted.

AC just wished Mia felt comfortable, both in herself and with Victor because if anyone could understand how much pain a touch could cause, it was the resident robot.

Hardly any of them knew what Vic had done between his rescue from 33.1 and his meeting Ollie. Cyborg never spoke of it and out of respect, they didn't ask. After all, a guy had to keep things private sometimes.

Still, that wasn't a reason why he couldn't give his buddy a helping hand.

AC caught Vic's eye and gave him silent encouragement, which was returned with a blush and averted gaze.

"I don't have any, Chlo. Sorry." Mia said apologetically.

Courtney was quick off the mark. "I have some Witch Hazel."

AC glanced once more at Chloe's nose and cringed. Yes, Witch Hazel was great for minor burns, but it was still an astringent and it'd sting like hell before it worked. Especially on a red raw nose. "I really wouldn't." He advised.

"I can go get some..." Mia offered and pushed her seat back, ready to stand.

Chloe waved the offer off. "Don't trouble yourself. My fault for not applying constantly. Twenty plus years and my expertise at dealing with sun burn isn't to write home about."

It only took a few seconds for AC too come up with a solution.

"Cucumbers." He said matter-of-fact. "If you can stand some gawking, I'm sure Moneybags there can splash out for a few slices of the _green_ stuff." He grinned when Ollie rolled his eyes.

"Cucumbers?" Courtney asked, the bemused smile on her face identical to those of Mia and Chloe.

Mia, AC was pleased to see, had pulled her chair closer to Vic and while she wasn't holding hands again, her knuckles brushed the robot's. Oh yeah, those two were the next piece of gossip in the League.

"Yep!" Arthur grinned at their interest. "Cucumbers." Or potato skins, but those only worked after being cooked and to cook a potato purely for skin care needs was a total waste of food.

His grin increased when Victor and Ollie glared at him when the Ladies of the League gave him their complete attention.

When it came to helping the ladies out with skin care products that weren't laden with chemicals or tested on animals, then he was so the man.

"Think about it," he relaxed in his own seat and thoroughly enjoyed the female attention. "You go to any spa, anywhere in the world, for a facial and what's put on your eyes?"

All three women looked at each other, nodded, and turned back to him to simultaneously answer. "Cucumbers."

AC would have felt guilty about stealing them from their respective men, but he was the only single dude in the League. Ollie, Vic, and Clark he could understand getting the ladies, but Bart?

Sure, Bart was great as far as guys went, but for crissakes. He was worse than an annoying little brother who stole the last drop of milk and ate the last candy bar while gleefully boasting of his deeds.

Bart Allen having a chick while he didn't?

So wrong.

"Ollie, pass my laptop." Chloe ordered, too focused on more skin care info to mind her please and thank yous.

AC took another sip of his beer to hide his smirk when Ollie's glare promised retribution.

"You're a bad person." The billionaire huffed at AC as he got her laptop anyway and slipped it into her purse.

God, the archer was so pussy whipped, it was unreal.

Chloe beamed and pressed a kiss to Ollie's cheek. "You're a catch."

This time when AC caught Victor's eye, it was to express the sentiments at seeing the Green Arrow sit up straight and puff out his chest.

Oliver's expression was so different and so were his sentiments. "I wish someone would catch _you_."

AC couldn't help himself.

He looked morosely at his beer for a moment before he looked up at the three ladies. "So do I."

Courtney gasped while Chloe and Mia glanced at each other before they glanced back at him. "You're still single?"

AC sadly nodded. "Over a year now."

"But how?" Courtney asked. "You're so sweet. Isn't he sweet?"

Chloe and Mia nodded.

"And gorgeous." One said.

"You have good shoulders." Said the other.

AC hoped he wasn't left alone with Victor and Ollie for a good long time, but he still couldn't keep from loving the attention now lavished on him and so he perked up. "You think so?"

Chloe leaned over to rub his arm. "Of course we think so, don't we?"

Mia and Courtney dutifully nodded.

"If it wasn't for Bart..." Star Girl said.

"If it wasn't for Victor..." Mia added.

"If it wasn't for Ollie..." Chloe joined.

Yeah, okay.

If the girls didn't stop now, he'd be in tuna cans if the glares he received were anything to go by. Yet AC ignored the silent warnings and gave the gals one serious set of puppy dog eyes.

"You think I'll ever find a gal as great as you three?"

All women visibly melted at his words and he was suddenly surrounded by six arms and a straw hat, his cheeks kissed by six lips, and ears spoken to by three voices.

"Sure you will..."

"Of course..."

"I know it..."

They may have disentangled themselves from his person shortly after boosting his ego, but they moved their seats to be next to him and AC was quite happy to have the League Ladies fawning over him, even if it was just for a little while.

"Ollie's right." Victor grumped and stared hell at him. "You are a bad person."

The reaction was immediate.

"Victor Stone." Chloe stated in dismay and grabbed AC's hand. "Don't you listen to him."

"AC's not a bad person." Courtney's arms tightened around his shoulders while Arthur gave a subtle smirk to his buddies.

Mia simply glared at Vic, making the man all but shrivel up in terror.

"No, he's not a bad person." Victor forced the words out through a fake grin. "We're just being buddies, right?"

It took everything AC had not to yell out at the pain now shooting through his shin and he glared at the jackass cleverly disguised as a robot.

Damn, but Vic had a hard kick.

AC stiffened when his other shin got a similar kick from Ollie and he made a mental note to introduce both guys to Bonny, a tiger shark he met off the coast of Australia. He was sure Bonny would be more than happy to dole out some justice on his behalf.

"Right, Vic." Ollie happily agreed. "Just being buddies."

AC rapidly nodded and forced a laugh through the lingering pain. Maybe Bonny could dole out that justice with her teeth. "You know how us guys are. Always joking around..."

Chloe arched a brow as she looked at Ollie. "And kicking friends in the shin is joking around?"

AC smirked when the three women glared at one of his best friends. "I think the boys are a little jealous."

Again, Ollie and Victor played right in when they both shook their heads.

"I'm not jealous, are you?" Asked the billionaire of Cyborg.

"Not a chance."

Mia gave AC a little smile and despite the humour, he hoped she was going to do something that would help both herself and Vic.

She stood straight and put both hands on her hips and levelled Cyborg with a single arching of an eyebrow. "So you're _not_ jealous that I'm hugging AC?"

Victor visibly squirmed. "Well, I..." He looked to Ollie for help.

"And you." Chloe jumped on the bandwagon and glared at Ollie. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

The billionaire slouched in his chair. "You're right. I'm sorry. I was wrong and won't do it again."

Victor was quick to follow. "I'm sorry. I was wrong and won't do it again."

Mia narrowed her eyes. "Do what again? Kick AC in the shin, get caught, be jealous or not be jealous?"

"All of the above?"

Silence followed Victor's hopeful answer and laughter followed the silence. AC got final hugs from the League Ladies before the sat down and he got grins of kudos from his best buddies.

No matter what they said or what childish names they called one another, they were pals and that was what pals did.

Ollie shook his head while he picked up his beer. "You're such an ass kiss, Fishstick."

"Not to mention attention seeker." Victor chuckled, then blushed when Mia reached for his hand.

"But he's a hunky ass kissing attention seeker." Courtney grinned.

AC beamed at the praise. "Don't let the Bartman hear you say that. I'll never hear the end of it."

Everyone laughed and toasted Impulse, who was somewhere between Mexico and Antarctica, and on the hunt for something or other. No doubt that something was a present for his lady love and no doubt he'd turn up at the most awkward moment.

AC laughed, then shook his head. "Seriously, guys. What do I have to do to find a woman?"

"You've really been single for over a year?" Ollie asked, the surprise in his voice unmistakable.

He nodded and finished his beer. "You know why Trudy left me."

Victor almost choked on his drink. "Are you serious?"

Again, AC nodded. "Yep."

Victor let out a low whistle. "Man, you have my sympathies."

Mia smirked. "And that's coming from you with your heritage."

Chloe and Courtney sniggered.

"My heritage?" Victor parroted.

"Once you have black, you never go back." Mia replied and daintily sipped her beer, the meaning instantly known by all.

Laughter was only drowned out by Victor's embarrassed sputterings and stammerings.

"No... I'm not... I swear... I'm not... Leave me alone!"

The ache AC earlier felt for Vic eased when Mia leaned her head on the guy's shoulder. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

"Yeah?"

AC saw the happiness on the faces of Chloe and Oliver when Mia curled her arm around Victor's.

"You're cute all the time."

Chloe and Oliver might be looked at as the couple for guidance, to know how to deal with their lives in the League, but Vic and Mia were the ones to look up too when it came to issues outside of the League.

AC momentarily glanced towards the ocean to give the newest couple a bit of privacy. Mia had all just said Victor was hers and hers for the keeping. When one took into account what they'd both through, they deserved a little time, even it was only a few moments in the company of friends.

He didn't return his attention until the kissing noises stopped and when he did, he saw Chloe and Ollie at it.

In the hope of finding an ally, he was disappointed to see Star Girl seeing stars as she looked at Vic and Mia before sighing. A second later, she looked at Chloe and Oliver, then sighed again.

AC rolled his eyes even as he chuckled.

Poor girl didn't know which couple to gush over and he almost, _almost_, felt guilty at breaking up the romance.

"Okay, guys and gals." AC grinned unrepentantly. "No more canoodling in front of the single dude."

By way of apology, Oliver settled an arm loosely over Chloe's shoulder, while Victor went one step further and pulled Mia closer before he stole a final kiss which left the girl blushing.

Ollie scowled at their fellow robot. "Hey!"

Mia stuck her tongue out, which made Chloe and Courtney laugh at the billionaire's face.

Victor didn't bother to hide his smile when Mia made a point to squeeze his arm.

Days like these made their dangerous lives, their sacrifices, completely worth while.

"You never know, man." Vic shook his empty beer bottle by way of a reminding whose turn it was to get em in. "The woman of your dreams could be right behind you."

AC shook his head and stood, ready to go buy the next round of drinks. "Yeah, like a babe is gonna walk right up and kiss..."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Sure, it was another gorgeous day in the City of Angels.

Sun pouring down from a sky so blue, warming her skin and no doubt causing wrinkles as she wandered down whatever avenue she was wandering down.

People were rude, she offhandedly thought, as they pushed past her and knocked into her like she wasn't there, but did she care? No.

Did she care that her sweater was the worst possible choice on a day like this? No.

Did she care that her shot at fame and fortune had just been blown away by a skull splitting migraine? Heck yeah.

Did she care that the one to blame couldn't be blamed because he decided to play hero? Hell yeah.

Damn straight, damn Doyle and while Cordelia was at it, she damned Angel, too.

She was hot and sweaty, not to mention poor and unknown, and to top things off, she'd just lost total control of every bodily function she possessed.

In the middle of an audition, no less.

And if that wasn't bad enough, she had no Doyle to yell at, either.

Life was totally out to get her.

There was so not a chance she would ever get a call back and it was all because of a stupid kiss.

It had to be the kiss that allowed her droolage to have a mind of its own and how gross was that? Not to mention humiliating.

Then there was the screeching. How could she forget the screeching? Or feeling like hot lava had just been dumped into her skull?

Okay, so the hot lava thing paled in comparison to feeling like her eyeballs had just been ripped out. Why did Doyle have to go and kiss her like...

Cordelia stopped.

That was it.

That was answer.

If she got the visions by a kiss, then she could get rid of them with a kiss, right? Though she didn't really know how Doyle had gotten the head splitting scratch n sniff pictures which came complete with feeling, but it couldn't have been a one-time fluke? Cos that just wouldn't make sense.

Unless he inherited them, like Buffy did her slayer mojo and that was something that always made her shudder. One girl had to die before the mojo went to someone else. No doubt it was some guy with serious gender issues behind that, but it was so not her problem.

Her problem was much bigger, like finding a suitable home for the unwanted noise in her head.

The most obvious choice was Angel, but he was hidden away in the batcave he called a home and since she could have another one any second, Angel was viable and there wasn't time to be too picky.

Cordelia vaguely saw a guy and did what a boy slayer did best.

XXX

To say AC was shocked would be a serious understatement. If there was one thing he hadn't expected when he woke up, it was Victor suddenly developing a psychic talent. Unless there was no woman attached to him and this was just good ol wishful thinking.

If the latter, then his wishful thinking had done an awesome job.

Her hair was the first thing he noticed. Dark, almost chestnut dark, set in waves and long enough to tickle the skin on his fingers. It smelled nice, hints of honey and oatmeal mixed with her faded cherry perfume. A cherry perfume that matched the cherry balm which made her lips soft, easy for him to manipulate into opening that little bit more.

The first touch of tongue came with delicious cocktail of cherry Coke, apple candy, and a moist warmth he hadn't felt in a looonnng time.

A pressure increase and AC groaned when nails lightly scored the nape of his neck, the sensation forcing his grip tighter around her waist. She musta liked that cos those hands of hers slid up to tangle in his hair and she pulled.

Hard.

If she wanted a lil aquatic action, then aquatic action she would get. After all, a gentleman would never deny a lady her pleasure.

He let the tidal ebb and flow guide the pace, swept his tongue across and under hers, relished in the sweetness. She was a little too eager with her response, so he slowed it down and turned it languid, she moaned and his arms tightened.

God, she was tiny compared to him. All tiny and fruity and wrapped in a soft sweater that left slender shoulders bare.

His hands slipped up and over those shoulders, fingers touched her neck and jaw and cheeks, felt the muscles work as she kissed him deep and hot. She tasted him like he had tasted her and he wondered what she thought of the salt on his tongue, wondered if she heard the ocean in his veins.

He pushed a little harder, her mouth got wetter and if this was just a kiss, what would a blow job be like? He imagined late at night, secluded little beach, Cherry on her knees while he slid his cock past her glossy plump lips and into that wet hot mouth.

AC cursed his thoughts when his blood went South and his hands quickly to where her waist flared into hips. His appreciative groan caused eyelids to open, revealing two hazel eyes. He held her gaze while they both backed off with soft, smooching tugs of his lips.

He purposely locked his hands at the base of her spine cos no way was Miss Kiss going anywhere anytime soon, so he waited until she said whatever it was she was going to say.

Pretty eyes blinked up at him and he waited for praise of his prowess.

"Did you feel anything?"


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Cordelia stared up at the guy and found herself pleasantly surprised.

He had good features by way of a strongly shaped jaw and defined cheekbones. She followed the contours up to close cropped dark blonde hair and green eyes that twinkled with curiosity and intrigue.

Her gaze dropped to the mouth she'd been attached too and her eyebrows rose. His lips were swollen, shiny with her lip gloss, and his neck held little white wakes obviously made by her nails.

All in all, he was handsome in the stereotypical beach bum way, something she was glad for cos it'd do no good for her to be seen kissing a frog.

Her gaze dropped to his mouth and her eyebrows rose high. His lips were swollen, shiny with her lip gloss and droplets of shared saliva, and God. How embarrassing was _that_?

That old saying came to mind. Drool me once, shame on you, drool me twice and all that jazz. Like it wasn't bad enough she'd dribbled in the audition, she had to go and use Beach Boy's mouth as a napkin.

However much she'd like to apologise, which wasn't a lot, he seemed to be waiting for something.

Oh, right.

An explanation.

A sensible explanation didn't enter her head as hope bubbled up. "Did you feel anything?"

AC's jaw dropped. "Come again?"

"You know, feel anything?"

Cordelia watched as a smug grin curled his lips up. "Other than the norm, you mean?"

She blinked in confusion. "The norm?"

That grin turned wicked as he made no bones about letting her know about his bone.

Her face burned and she resisted the urge to look down cos hey, he certainly didn't need anymore ego stroking. "I meant migrainy, doofus. Did you feel anything migrainy?"

This time it was AC who blinked in confusion, but he didn't get a chance to answer.

"Bet he does have a head ache." Bart chuckled in a way that ensured everyone knew what he meant.

The comment had Cordelia glaring at a skinny guy in a red hoodie who was openly gawking. "Who asked you?"

Skinny Guy threw his hands up in submission. "Nobody."

"Then cram it, dirt mouth." She snapped, really not in the mood to deal with the crude.

Cordelia found herself the target of an offended young blonde girl. "You can't talk to him like that."

"Listen, sister. I'm in the middle of a crisis here and his personal brand of charm? So not helping." The newly appointed seer looked back to Beach Boy only to find him frowning at her. "No to the migraines? What about a blue light? You see one of those?"

She felt his hands slip away from her hips and take a few steps away from her, the actions bringing home a realisation and she smacked her own forehead. "Oh my God. How dumb can I be? Wait, don't answer that. I know this gonna sound weird and all, but..."

"Listen, sister." He mocked in a way that made him a lot less handsome. "I'm in the middle of a day out with my friends and your personal brand of saying hi? So not helping."

Cordelia paused long enough to cross her arms and arch a single brow. "Those originality classes really paid off."

"How did you do in that originality class?"

Cordelia looked at the owner of the voice and saw another blonde girl looking right back. Unlike the first blonde female, this one was a little older and her lips twitched with a smirk.

She felt the woman's gaze roam slowly over her and to say that did nothing but increase her ire was an understatement. "What's your limited assessment tell you?"

"I'd say C plus, B minus." The woman continued before Cordelia could say anything in response to the inspection. "Points off for the out of work actress look."

"Hey." Cordelia defended. "I'll have you know I had a national this morning. Sure I won't get a call back, cos hello. Crisis."

"What crisis was that?" The first blonde spoke up. "Implants went wrong?"

A brunette smirked. "Or maybe she broke a nail on the casting couch."

Cordelia didn't respond for a few seconds as she simply stared at them. "Good to know there are people in the world who think there's more to life than people in trouble. Attitudes like that just scream A for effort."

She didn't give them a chance to reply and turned to Beach Boy as she fished an ever present business card out of her back pocket. When she finally spoke again, her voice was full of utter contempt. "You might need this. You know, in case an ugly gray blobby thing tries to steal your eyes. Though I'm sure your friends can judge it to death."

With that, Cordelia slapped the Angel Investigations card into the chest of Beach Boy and walked away, hoping Doyle's visions hadn't been passed to someone like him.

XXX

"Wow." AC heard Chloe say, but couldn't tear his gaze from the direction the brunette had stalked off and guilt welled up in his chest. As his friends kept talking about the girl, he went over and over the conversation in his head.

Had she really deserved the amount of censure thrown her way? All she'd really done was tell Bart to can it, which he couldn't fault as his buddy's comment had been pretty damn crude, something they had all done in the past. Sure, her tone had been quite waspish, but hadn't she said something about a crisis?

Then there was the kiss and a damn good kiss at that.

Seriously, he knew there were greater forces at work other than a spontaneous rush of lust on her part. After all, how many girls went around kissing strange guys? She obviously had a reason strong enough to make her do that and that reason probably had to do with why she'd asked if he felt anything migrainy or if he'd seen a blue light.

What about an ugly gray blobby thing that might try to steal his eyes? What the hell made her say that of all things?

AC shook his head in an effort to shake off the confusion, but it did no good and he only ended up more confused. Though it could be said that was a bonus in the grand scheme of things as his blood was no longer headed due south.

He looked down at the card held loosely in his hand.

"I feel kinda bad." Courtney said. "I just didn't like the way she spoke to Bart."

"I didn't like the way she spoke to you." Mia followed before she sighed. "But yeah, maybe we went a bit too far. I mean, we don't know anything."

"They were real." AC muttered as he continued to look at the business card.

"Did you say something?" Victor asked, still a little uncomfortable at the tense atmosphere.

AC nodded and faced his friends, his gaze more than troubled. "Yeah. I said they were real. Her breasts, I mean. And I'm sure she didn't like Bart's comment too much, either."

Contrition washed over the speedster's expression. "Sorry, man. I can't help it. I think fast, I speak fast."

"She didn't know that." Oliver interjected. "All she heard was some dude making a crass remark and it was pretty crass, Allen. Even for you."

Bart nodded in acceptance. "I can imagine a mamacita like that one gets the rude everyday."

AC sighed and returned to his seat, then took a few moments to gather his thoughts before he spoke. "What do you think she meant? About the migraine and blue light... None of you saw a blue light, right?"

Chloe tapped her fingers on the table in a way that alerted everyone to the fact her brain was well and truly in gear. "Migraines can have all sorts of effects. Sensitivity to light and sound, blackouts, nausea and complete vomiting, some people can hallucinate."

AC arched his brows. "You the voice of experience?"

A quirky grin appeared. "Once and that was quite enough, thank you very much. Suffice to say migraines aren't your normal head ache."

Oliver nodded his agreement. "Maybe she got a migraine in that national. It'd explain why she wouldn't get a call back."

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why she'd think a kiss would pass it on to me." AC countered. "Or explain the ugly grey blobby thing that might try to steal my eyes."

"But we don't know if she did have a migraine or how the length of time between that and her pouncing on our dried up buddy here."

"Bart!" They all groaned.

He grinned unrepentantly, but that grin quickly faded. "I feel funny."

Almost instantly, Courtney and Mia leaned away from him, fearing the worst from the guy who ate anything and everything.

AC, equally worried for the same fear of upchuck, glanced uneasily at his buddy. "You didn't drink a whole bottle of tequila again before you ran route 66, did you?"

His question had the other guys staring in Allen's direction and the man of the hour shook his head. "No." He protested. "Well, maybe, but this isn't that kind of feeling. This is sorta like chest pain combined with the urge to turn back time."

Oliver caught the attention of AC and they both rolled their eyes. "That would be guilt." Chloe chuckled.

"I don't like it." Bart grumbled.

"Me either." Courtney muttered and sent an apologetic look at AC. "Sorry I was rude to her. I feel like I blew it for you."

The instant those words left her mouth was the same instant she became the sole focus of all the present members of the Justice League. Silence reigned momentarily before a squeak came from Mia and a similar one followed from Chloe. It was only a matter of seconds before full blown laughter filled the air and Courtney's cheeks positively burned.

She quickly defended herself. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant that I blew his shot... No! I didn't mean that, either! Stop looking at me like that!"

AC shook his head as his chuckles drifted into an amused sigh. "I hear ya, Court, and I appreciate the sentiment, but she was rude right back. To all of us."

"No." Mia denied. "She wasn't rude to Chloe who, let's be honest, didn't attack her. She wasn't rude, she was defensive."

That point of view put relief on Arthur's face. "Ya think?"

Oliver smiled. "I remember another brunette of the same calibre... And a blonde, right wife? Though you were a lot more subtle with the emotional equivalent of dry wall."

Chloe returned her husband's smile. "And here we are. The poster couple for marital bliss."

"Damn straight." Ollie agreed and threw his arm over her shoulders.

AC then found himself the recipient of a studious pair of brown eyes. "What is it, Queen?"

"We're all going out to dinner tonight." The archer replied. "You're gonna find that girl and invite her to join us. Give both her and us a chance to make a better impression."

Courtney beamed. "Yeah, let's do that. I can say sorry."

"So can I." Bart added.

Mia joined in. "And me."

AC was about to say it was a good idea, but Chloe got in there first. "As great as that sounds, she didn't strike me as the kind to forgive and forget so easily. But, our fisherman's enemy here has to go see her, so I say it's worth a try."

"She might be more open to suggestion if her stuff was returned." Chloe finished, that quirky smile of hers still in place.

He looked at her in confusion as she gestured to a spot just behind him. Thinking the woman had come back, he immediately turned only to be disappointed by the sight of an oversized purse on the pavement.

XXX

Thanks to Chloe's uncanny knack with her laptop and seeking out directions, it didn't take Arthur long to find the street he needed. In fact, it had taken him less than twenty minutes and for Los Angeles, that was an easy walking distance.

It was quite a busy street, he noticed, with a lot of people and traffic. He also noticed there weren't a lot of signs on the buildings, which made him thankful that he'd been foretold he was looking for a firehouse.

A quick look at the business card told him he was looking for Angel Investigations.

His lips twitched.

An investigation service with a lobster logo.

After he looked both ways thrice, AC scooted across the road and kept up the pace until he was outside the office he wanted. The only thing stopping him from entering was the sound of a female voice and since it was a familiar female voice, he figured it was the brunette.

"You're missing the point, Angel. I was in the middle of an _audition_ and a national no less. It was my one chance to be a star."

AC could picture her pacing and waving her arms in irritation, and it made him grin in amusement.

This time, a man's voice filtered through the door. "What was it?"

"Extra Strength Stain B Gone."

"The vision, Cordelia. What was the _vision_?"

Arthur's eyebrows disappeared under his hair. Visions? She had visions? Well, she'd had one vision by the sound of things and he knew most people would think her nuts, but he wasn't most people and after half the stuff he'd seen? Visions were probably the most normal. After all, claims of a sixth sense went way back when.

Her voice broke through his thoughts and he chuckled as she waved away her friend's question with an airy reply that clearly said the vision was not her priority.

"It was a thing!"

"A thing?"

"An ugly gray blobby thing."

"Cordelia, if you saw it, this could mean ugly gray blobby _dangerous_ thing."

"I think it was after my eyes, cos they kinds hurt after. So did my head, come to think of it, because I had a vision."

"I _know_ you had a vision!" The man spoke again, frustration all over his tone. "Can you describe this... Blobby thing, really?"

"Give me a break, Angel! It's my first and hopefully last. I'm not exactly up on the visionity thing and again you're missing the point. I lost control of my entire central nervous system getting that stupid vision. I drooled, did I mention that? Actually drooled in front of the directors."

"You might have said that once or twice. So what happened?"

"What do you think happened? They gave it to a half naked blonde is what happened!"

Arthur shook his head in sheer amusement.

"I meant in the vision."

"Is that all you can talk about? Does my pain mean nothing to you? Can you see this twitching above my left eye? That's my vein. It's been throbbing ever since."

"Since the half naked blonde?"

AC grinned as the miscommunication continued. He could only imagine what a full blown conversation would be like.

"No, dumbass. Since the vision. Did Doyle's ever last this long?"

"They usually went after aspirin and a bottle of scotch."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Gimme the scotch."

"It might be a good idea to wait until _after_ you tell me about the vision."

Having been on the end of her sharp tongue, AC pitied the guy.

"That's right. Angel gets the info while poor Cordy gets to suffer. What about my pain?"

Cordy? Was that her name?

"Pretty." AC murmured to himself and continued to listen, but there was silence now inside the office. The sudden quiet would be surprising if he hadn't been around others with super hearing, though it seemed pretty odd he'd find someone with that ability in down town L.A.

There was no time to question it as the door was pulled open and he found himself face to face with a man who, if AC had been anyone else, would have been intimidating. It could have been the fact the dude was dressed completely in black or the fact he had a set of dark eyes that were entirely expressionless. Well, expressionless bar a slight narrowing which was obviously a warning.

"You heard enough?" The man asked in a voice that dared.

However, Arthur Curry wasn't anyone else and he handled the inquiry in his usual style. "I heard what I wanted." And grinned.

The man didn't appear overly impressed. "And what was that?"

"The pretty lady's name." The swimmer gestured to the brunette now peeking over the man's right shoulder.

The man stared at AC for a second before he blinked. "Seriously, Cordy? This guy?"

"Don't judge me. I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom until I get rid of it."

AC grinned again. "I've been single for over a year. Desperation I can work with."

A flicker of a smirk appeared on the man's pale lips when she scoffed. "I'm not _that_ desperate."

He feigned a wounded heart and clutched his chest. "Ouch."

"You'll be screaming that word if you're looking for a repeat performance."

Now the hard to get female was something Arthur Curry knew like the back of his hand. After all, he'd suffered a year of em. "You're right. I should buy you dinner first. You can class it as a reward for returning your purse."

"I don't think so." The man stated abruptly. "Just hand my friend her purse and go. Unless you have a case, then your business is with me."

AC shook his head. "Sorry, dude. No to the bringing of work, though I'll tell my friends. What sorta cases do you take?"

"Ones that are out of your league." The brunette said. "But thanks. Money is always appreciated."

"I wouldn't be too sure, Cordy. He's not exactly human, are you _dude_?"


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Arthur wasn't wholly sure what happened. One moment he'd been negotiating dinner with a feisty vixen, then her friend had told him that was not gonna happen, then his none-human status got revealed and then...

Well, the only way to describe the following chain of events was the word chaos.

The pretty lady started spray some perfume while she warned him to stay back. Obviously her perfume wasn't just perfume as it set her friend's ear on fire and her friend wasn't human himself by the looks of things.

"Oh my God! Angel! I'm sorry!" She yelled and tried to put the small flames out by batting the man's ear with her hand.

"Damnit, Cordelia!" Angel snarled as he hissed when he tried to save his own ear from being burned.

AC didn't bat an eye at the man's change of face and hurried past to focus on the water cooler, using his ability to make it as icy as possible. Cracking ice sounded and he picked it up, and poured the entire lot over the man, instantly putting out the little fire.

Then he found himself being glared at by two ochre eyes and again AC might have been intimidated if he was anyone other than himself. "You okay, dude?"

"Was that really necessary?"

The swimmer pulled a face. "I may have gone overboard with chilling of the H20. Sorry."

Angel stared at him before he turned to Cordelia, who offered up her most innocent smile. "Holy water, Cordelia? In a perfume bottle?"

The brunette reached to her desk. "Tissue?"

Angel rubbed the bridge of nose and kept glaring. "Holy water?"

"Well excuse me." She replied, voice dripping with the same venom AC heard earlier. "Not all of us have the luxury of super strength and fangs."

Angel simply shook his head. "I'm going to get changed. You need me, I'm just downstairs."

Cordelia nodded. "Sorry for, you know, setting you on fire and everything."

AC chuckled at the expression she received before her friend went down to change. He waited a moment or two until he couldn't hear footsteps. Good. This way, it wouldn't be so embarrassing to get shot down in flames when she rejected him.

"You known each other long?"

She remained silent.

Amusement shone in his green eyes. "You weren't so quiet a few minutes ago. Why the hush?"

"You didn't do anything."

Confusion replaced the amusement. "Huh?"

Hazel eyes rolled. "When Angel was on fire. You didn't do anything."

AC's brows arched. "I put him out!"

"Not that, dumbass. You didn't do anything when he went all grr." Her hands mimicked claws as she growled.

"Oh, you mean his face?"

"No, I mean his hair. Of course I mean his face! You didn't freak out or run screaming like a little girl. Seriously, why are all the good ones not human? Well, which one are you?"

Arthur thought she meant which League member and usually saying his identity was a big no-no, but this wasn't usual. Since he was no Clark Kent and all about the secrecy, he saw no reason to hide himself behind a bent truth.

Besides, she had visions, so what if she saw truth and yelled at him for lying? "Arthur Curry or AC..." And since there didn't seem to be any need for secret identities. "Aquaman and you're Cordy."

She stared at him in silence for a moment before she blinked. "Aquaman? That's the best you could come up with? I would've gone for Waterboy if you were more Adam Sandlerish, but it's your call."

"Boy?" AC asked, every fibre of his masculine essence completely affronted. "_Boy_?"

"I said it was your call. You didn't have to focus on boy. Geez."

He went to say something to that, but decided against it. "Listen. My friends and I are going out to dinner later. I can take a friend, so..." He let the sentence drift off so he could give her his most charming smile.

"Why? Your crude entourage need a punching bag for their disrespectful vitriol? Cos if so, then please let the door hit your ass, which is pretty tight if you don't mind my saying."

AC beamed as he looked over his shoulder to see his ass. "You think? I've always been a bit self-conscious about it. I swim and all, but... You don't think it's a bit misshapen?"

Cordelia pursed her lips. "Turn around. If there's anyone who can tell an out of balance ass, it's me. Hell knows I've been staring at Angel's for the last six months."

"You stare at your friend's butt?"

"Like I have a choice! I talk and he walks away. He never listens to me, even when it's for his own good."

"I heard _that_." Came a voice from down stairs.

"And you should hear me more often."

There was a pause. "My ass isn't out of balance, is it?"

AC hid his grin when Cordelia smiled indulgently. "No, Angel. Your ass is perfect just the way it is. Well, as far as perfect can be with your circumstances. I mean, how perfect can an ass be when you get it kicked all the time?"

"Do you want _your_ ass kicked, Cordelia?"

Arthur wiped his growing smirk away when her hazel eyes widened at the threat. "No..."

"Then leave mine alone."

She nodded. "Leaving it completely alone, but just so you know. Next time you get a splinter in it, I won't be around to pull it out."

AC couldn't help himself. "Dude, you got a splinter in your ass?"

"It wasn't a splinter."

The swimmer openly laughed. "I feel your pain. I got the tooth of a Greenland shark stuck in my big toe."

Another pause came from downstairs. "I have nothing to say to that."

AC caught the look of disbelief on the brunette's pretty face and grinned sheepishly. "Greenlands are almost blind."

"So it was your fault?" She asked, but didn't give him a chance to reply. "And is that what you are? Some kinda fish demon?"

He chuckled at the undisguised fascination that filled her voice. "Nah, just plain ol AC."

Her lips curled up. "Sure you are and since water's your deal, you can clean up."

AC's first reaction was to deny he should clean up the water on the floor, but a quickly formed plan lit the bulb above his head and he looked at her in calculation. "I'll clean up if you come with me to dinner."

A perfectly shaped eyebrow arched. "And thus the reason behind your singleton lifestyle. Blackmail isn't a good look for anyone."

"Is that a yes?"

She paused as she thoughtfully looked him over, her lips pursed and right foot tapped. "Will I have to pay?"

AC chuckled heartily and shook his head. "No-one pays for dinner when Oliver takes us out." He frowned in confusion. "I don't even think Ollie pays. Weird."

"So that _was_ Oliver Queen." Cordelia mused. "And the none rude blonde would be The Mystery Blonde, am I right? What am I asking? Of course I'm right. Oliver Queen would never intimately associate himself with the other blonde."

He sighed. "That's kinda the reason my friends are hoping you come I to dinner. They didn't exactly give the best of impressions and you don't understand Bart. Hell, I don't understand Bart and how the hell he got a girlfriend when I've been single for over year is nobody's guess."

"Here I thought I was desperate." She rolled her eyes. "Look, Waterboy..."

"Aqua_MAN_."

"Whatever. I've been around enough to know there's no excuse for having no manners. I was clearly having a crisis and having my chest questioned as exhibit A. No offence, but those sort of people? Not really my thing."

Arthur again shook his head. "No, you really don't understand. Bart Allen? He's... Special."

"He's certainly that."

"That's true." AC grumbled, but then got back to his point. "You say you've been around... And I didn't mean that the way it came out, but you've had experience. Bart is..." How could he say it without giving up a story that wasn't his to tell?

"He can't help it?" Cordelia offered up. "I get it. Believe me, but that still doesn't excuse the crude. Sure, I don't do tact, but I can control myself."

A laugh came from downstairs.

A following laugh came from AC. "Says the woman who frenched me in the street."

"I was having a crisis!"

He grinned. "And crisis brings desperation, which I said I can live with. I heard you when I was outside shamelessly eavesdropping. Something about you having visions. What about the visions caused you to fight tongue and tonsil?"

"Vision and that better be singular, you hear me, Doyle? One more and I'm coming after you. Well, that's if I could..."

Arthur watched her expression turn sad and a sense of sympathy welled up in his chest. This Doyle person had obviously been important to her and since she was threatening the ceiling, it didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

He keenly felt for her loss, having only recently lost a good friend himself. Carter Hall was a big miss for all of them, Courtney in particular, and even though Ollie wouldn't admit it, AC knew the loss of Carter was great.

"You must miss him." AC stated quietly and kindly.

"Oh, please. Doyle was detrimental to my equilibrium."

The swimmer's lips twitched. "I don't believe that for a second. You'll have to tell me about him someday."

AC figured he must have said something right when he received a soft sort of smile in response. "Maybe over lunch tomorrow? It's good to have a friend when times get tough."

"So you're not sniffing for more?"

"I totally am, but that doesn't mean we can't also be friends, right? That's how all the great relationships start. You know, Marge and Homer, Fred and Wilma, George and Judy."

"Cos they're the aspiration for all marital bliss."

AC beamed. "Exactly."

Hazel eyes rolled, but a sparkle of humour belied her derision. "You're such a goofball."

"Well, that's better than boy. I'll take it."

"You'll take what you're given."

Man, she was a feisty little woman. A life with her wouldn't be dull at all and he liked it. "Which is?"

"We'll see."

She looked him over again and this time AC puffed up his chest then flexed. After all, the best displayed peacocks got the prettiest hens.

Cordelia kept her knowing smirk to herself. "Yeah, you're a real Homer."

He was about to reply when Angel rejoined them.

XXX

After current events in their life, Angel would be the first to acknowledge he'd become somewhat overprotective of Cordelia and the arrival of the male upstairs set him on edge. Not that there was anything seemingly dangerous about him, because if there was, a neck woulda been snapped in seconds, yet there was something... Not quite right.

So he stayed down stairs longer than necessary and employed his hearing to eavesdrop on not just the conversation, but also on Cordelia and the boy. He heard the distinct change in heart rate when Doyle's name came up and then the genuine sympathy as the boy consoled Cordelia without actually doing it.

That impressed Angel.

Cordelia Chase may often demand him to show his feelings, but she didn't practice what she preached and the boy had easily read between the lines of her words. Something a lot of people had a tendency to do, himself included.

In all his years as both a human and vampire, he'd never come across anyone so contradictory as that Arthur Curry as the boy called himself. Not human, not demon and the boy's very self was about preservation of life. For a start, the boy was vegetarian and not just that, but there were the smells.

The oddest combination of salt, water, and actually salt water. All were so wound together it took a while to understand what it meant. He listened when the boy stated both his name and what sounded to be a codename of some sort.

Aquaman.

Cordy was right. Couldn't anything better be found?

The vampire's lips quirked up.

Cordy would probably say the same about his name, too.

Angel switched his focus from his only friend to the boy and was once again disconcerted by the contradiction. Sure all humans were seventy percent water, but the boy wasn't just seventy percent water. It seemed that water made up the boy as a whole, which was the contradiction because there was some humanity in there.

The vampire had an overwhelming urge to call Rupert Giles to see if the man knew anything about what could only be known as a none-human-none-demon. Since the Watcher's undisguised hate of him, Angel figured he was liable to receive a sarcastic lecture that would end up misconstrued as an attempt to contact Buffy.

Angel rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Buffy meant a lot to him, but despite popular theory, she wasn't the be all and end all of his existence. He had lived a life prior to her and he would live long after her, something Buffy didn't want to acknowledge.

For all the slayer's faults, Angel knew he couldn't turn away and that thought brought a chuckle from his lips as he thought about Cordy would say.

_Car crash, Angel. Want to look away, but can't_.

Thinking of Cordelia quickly snapped Angel out of his thoughts and back to the humans... No. Not humans.

Friend.

He went back to his friend who was alone with an Unknown Quantity who appeared to be asking for a lifetime commitment.

Though Cordelia Chase was no naive debutante, she was still vulnerable and he would be damned if some tight assed _dude_ walked in and took advantage.

He walked up the stairs with a jog that provided deliberate heavy foot steps to announce his presence.

"Yeah, you're a real Homer." Cordelia remarked and Angel had enough life experience that helped him keep a straight face.

He watched the boy go to reply, but pause on seeing him. "You two carry on. I'll be in the office." Angel said and then took the opportunity to get one over on his only friend. "And Cordy, don't let me find you necking against the file cabinet."

The boy rose in estimation with the hearty, genuine laughter that came when Cordelia exclaimed her indignation at being accused of such a thing

"Necking? I'll show you necking. I'll neck the next frog who walks through that door, just you watch."

Angel inwardly chuckled at the challenging expression on the boy's face.

"Bet he won't be as good as me."

"You just keep telling yourself that, Waterboy."

"Hey, you gave me no time to prepare."

"So that wasn't your best effort? Good to know."

Angel feigned a cough and was about to say something when the door chime jingled, a noise which made Cordelia express triumph as she moved toward it.

Neither AC nor Angel could stop Cordelia Chase from grabbing and kissing the demon who entered Angel Investigations.

"Cor..." Angel began, his eyebrows raised.

"Delia?" AC finished, torn between amusement and jealousy.

"Boy." The demon breathed, his eyes on the brunette in a way that raised the hackles of both the vampire and the swimmer. "I gotta say I like the way you people treat your clients."

The girl in question pulled away from the demon. "Maybe not this frog." She muttered, before she used her sleeve to wipe her mouth. "Pttooeey! Pttooeey!" Were the noises that came as she continued to clean her lips.

The vampire watched the Unknown grab a tissue and hand it to Cordelia.

"Thanks."

"Now what were you saying about necking?" Angel received a larger than life grin from AC and the vampire had to hide his own reaction.

Cordelia sneered at the boy before she continued to wiped her lips. "Grossness."

"Uh-huh." The Unknown said with an air of smugness. "I didn't get grossness. I got a coupla sweet little..."

"I think we have a client." Angel cut the boy off before action was forced to be taken and the boy's neck had to be snapped.

"Are you paying?" Cordelia asked as she made to walk to her desk, but an arm prevented her.

"Yeah." AC joined in as he tightened his grip on the brunette. "Are you paying?"

The vampire's only reaction was to smile a very unnerving smile. "Of course he's paying, aren't you?" He said in a way that meant payment for services rendered would be had.

The demon nodded. "I always pay my due. Sure I'm evil, but not you know, evil. Everybody's gotta eat, right?"

"Then we'll talk. Come in."

Cordelia rolled her eyes and shot AC a look complete with a pout. "This is the secretary's cue to make coffee."

"That would be nice." Angel levelled his friend and her new boy toy with a single glare. "It'd also be nice if you cleaned up and replaced the water so you can actually make the coffee."

She automatically pointed to AC. "He can do the mopping."

XXX

Okay, Cordelia was not getting on at all well. There was something afoot and she couldn't just feel it, she could smell it.

For a start Angel, the almighty unflappable vampire who showed no mercy and took no prisoners, was offering friendship of the BFF variety to AC. AC was happily accepting it and it was totally sickening in a weirdly cute bromancey sorta way.

Come to think of it, AC might actually be good for Angel. Since Doyle died, Angel had been acting more broody and mopey than usual. AC seemed to be Mr. Happy Go Lucky and with a little luck, that might rub off on her moody boss. After all, what could be worse than dealing with a perpetual case of PMS?

Not just that, but if they became friends, then Angel would be less likely to embarrass her by giving the Spanish Inquisition or something. That time with Pierce had been sooo humiliating...

Okay, so Angel might have had a point there. Pierce had been a big ol bore and had run, screeching, when that vampire jumped out on her. She'd never looked at pigs and beans in the same way after that.

Cordelia stole a glance at AC and Angel, and nodded her approval as she filled three cups of coffee and one glass of water. She looked in Angel's fridge for a lemon or something, but to her consternation found only bags of blood, the milk, and a few bits of food.

That vampire was sadly lacking in entertaining skills. No matter how hard she tried, nothing ever seemed to sink in.

He simply couldn't go on living the way he did. It wasn't right and it made her sad that he was so used to being alone, that he thought anybody would willingly spend time with him. Sure it might be wishful thinking on Angel's side, but she'd be damned if he was gonna spend the rest of his existence as a lonely soul.

At least when Doyle was there, Angel had somebody, even if it was a half demon who celebrated the opening of a mail box with a drink down at the pub.

_Angel_, she thought to herself, _we totally have to talk about this_.

Maybe he would perk up now if AC was gonna stick around.

"I don't think you gotta worry."

Cordelia heard Barney say. When neither AC or Angel responded, she turned to the demon. "I'm sorry, what?"

Barney looked apologetic. "I couldn't help but notice. I don't think you gotta worry about this guy. He's pretty sweet on you. I can tell."

"Can you?" AC stared at the demon.

Barney nodded. "I'm an empathic. I read emotions..."

"I know what an empath is. I didn't give you permission to read me or my feelings."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Something to hide, Arthur?"

"Not at all." AC replied easily. "Read away."

Barney held up his hands in submission. "No way. I already got one maniac on my tail, I don't need another."

Cordelia moved quickly to stop any bloodshed and violence. "So what's the skinny?" She asked as she handed on cup of coffee to Angel, who drank half in a single gulp. "You'd think after all these years you'd know how to swallow."

The demon smiled winningly as he got his refreshment. "There's this guy. He's a machine. Totally unstoppable. Been following me since Phoenix and like I said. I'm evil, but not _evil_ evil. That's why I read without permission. I don't think, I do."

AC nodded once in acceptance and encouraged Barney to continue. "This guy even knows where I live. A guy like me has to keep under the radar, you know what I'm saying? But he knows."

"Sounds like this guy's really gunning for you, man." The swimmer stated, not convinced by the tale of woe whatsoever. Maybe it was the fact Barney read without asking and while that could be explained as the demon said, AC just didn't trust him at all.

Angel agreed. "The pursuer usually has a stronger grievance than the pursuit."

"Take me for instance." Cordelia interrupted as she held the glass of water to AC. "Take one chilled beverage like so and go to get something like a lemon or a lime, only to discover somebody didn't go grocery shopping. This then leaves the stunning hostess needing to deliver an apology."

This time, Angel didn't bother to hide eye roll when she looked at Arthur. "My boss hasn't gone grocery shopping in forever, so you'll have to make do."

The vampire arched a brow. "Nice apology, Cordy."

She beamed. "Wasn't it?"

AC chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Water's fine all by itself. Too much additives can ruin the natural refreshing taste of H2O." He took a good, long drink to prove his point and set the glass down with a hearty _ahhh_.

"Wow, you really do have it on for her." Barney stated as he stared at the meta-human with wide eyes.

Cordelia instantly turned on the demon. "Enough with the crude already. Can't a waterboy show his appreciation with a shred of decency? What's the world coming to, I ask."

"It's _man_!"

After already hearing this conversation, Angel took the opportunity to end it before it began again. He swallowed the rest of his coffee. "I'll go check out your apartment. See what I can find. Cordy, concentrate on your vision."

"You think the blobby thing is the machine?" She asked.

The vampire nodded. "Could be." He looked at AC. "You, stay here."

Arthur gave a swift salute, pleased Cordelia's boss turned to him to protect her and not the demon. "Understood."

"Good. Barney, think of as much information as possible. If the... Blobby thing is after you, then it's a very dangerous... Blobby thing."

The demon nodded. "Maybe I can help with the vision. After all, it's the least I can do. Well, if the meta-human trusts me to read his sweetheart, which I don't think he does."

Angel didn't even blink as he put his jacket on. "I don't trust either of you. Cordy, I've got my cell on. Call me if you need me."

Then he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Angel had seen many sights in his centuries, but none quite so eye opening as Wesley Wyndham-Pryce dressed head-to-toe in black leather and pointing a crossbow directly at his face.

"Hello, Angel." Was the polite greeting.

The vampire put his hands in his pockets and carefully regarded the Englishman. Surely this couldn't be Barney's pursuer? If so, then they didn't make demons like they used too. "Wesley."

He waited until the man got halfway through his warning before he easily knocked the weapon out of his hand. "You were saying?" He asked, struggling to keep his amusement to himself. He wanted information and it was a well known fact more flies were caught with honey.

Wesley sniffed as he pretended to look around the apartment. "I'm on the trail of a particularly nasty bugger right now, so I suggest you stay out of my way."

Angel pursed his lips as he really looked at the other man.

There was more confidence in his stance than the vampire saw in Sunnydale, his tone didn't seem as stiff or uptight as once upon a time. Then there was the fact of Wesley's strong pursuit of Barney. While Barney wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the box, he was still a demon and demons were tricky things to track at the best of times, much less halfway across the States.

It seemed the Brit had come a long way from disparaged Watcher of two slayers.

"You're a demon hunter." Angel surmised and though the man didn't answer, it was pretty obvious. "You might be making a mistake with who you're after. This guy seems pretty harmless to me."

"Harmless?" Wesley asked. "He's left a trail of mutilated corpses, human and demon. Each victim was in possession of some unique power, telepathy, healing hands... The physical source of the power was ripped, gouged, or torn from their dead body. My guess is he's..."

"Collecting powers." Angel murmured to himself, then looked at the ex-watcher. "I wonder if Barney's hiding from that killer, not you."

Confusion flashed on Wesley's face. "Barney?"

"My client. He's empathic. What's this demon you're hunting look like? Short, ruddy complexion?"

"Short? Oh no. Rather huge, as a matter of fact and very dangerous. Lately it seems to be excreting some viscous fluid..."

Angel noticed a yellow substance that dripped from the ledge of a smashed window. "You mean like this?" He touched it and showed Wesley. "Possibly from a kungai. One that's been injured. Sharp teeth, stocky build, wrinkled forehead sound familiar?"

"Why yes." The Englishman blew out a breath of frustration. "I was this close."

The vampire wiped his fingers on Barney's threadbare curtain. "Listen, Wes. You heard anything about meta-humans?"

Wesley's eyes squinted behind his glasses. "Meta-human? In what aspect?"

"Cordy has a new friend," Angel explained, his tone serious enough to quash any and all comments the other man might have had. "More than human, less than demon."

The ex Watcher rubbed his chin in deep thought. "There's been speculation and a lot of interest in some vigilantes that have formed a group of sorts. The word is they're not human and when I say human, I mean not of this world."

Okay, if the sight of Wesley Wyndham-Pryce decked in leather wasn't enough to make him stare, then that statement surely was. It got worse when the Englishman put it into laymen's terms. "Aliens."

"Aliens," Angel parroted and received a nod of affirmation, which made him chuckle. "Wesley..."

Wesley shook his head, almost immediately reverting to the bookish man he knew in Sunnydale. "No, Angel. There is always fact among fiction and there are records, eye witness accounts to testify to such things. Crashing planes stopped several feet before they hit the ground, people rescued from avalanches and other disasters... Then there was the alarming report of a specific symbol appearing on several structures around the globe."

"Tell me more."

XXX

"That's what you saw?" Arthur asked as he held Cordelia's sketch of her vision.

"In all its glory." She replied and flopped back in the chair. "It doesn't look dangerous, does it? Just ugly."

"You can say that again." The drawing showed a weird lump at the top followed by two more equally weird lumps, one in the middle and one that made up the bottom. "What do you think it is?"

Cordelia shrugged. "A decayed ice sculpture for all I know."

"I hear drawing can be very therapeutic during a grieving period."

"What?" She looked up from her sketch and the expression on her face told AC there was more to this Doyle than a simple colleague.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help sensing your pain. I mean, you just lost someone close to you, didn't you?" Barney asked as he jumped up onto a stool.

"You never said and I know Angel didn't tell you, so how do you know?"

"I'm empathic. I feel your feelings when you feel them. It's a gift my kind are blessed with."

"Like AC said, our kind think some things are private, so maybe you shouldn't be nosing around other people's feelings without asking them." Cordelia's facial expression made her verbal point.

Barney gestured with his hands. "Y-you're right. I'm sorry. I was just trying to be part of the conversation."

AC resisted the urge to roll his eyes when Cordelia finally decided to let her softer side show. "Barney, wait. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a difficult time right now. I'm just..."

"Missing your friend." Barney finished and Arthur hurt for her. "Why don't you tell us about him. I'm sure AC would like to know what size shoes he's gonna be filling."

"I don't want to fill anyone's shoes." AC snapped, offended on both his behalf and Cordelia's. "Doyle was obviously important, dude, so don't cheapen his memory and don't cheapen Cordy."

That was it. That demon was just a dickwad. Evil, but not evil or no. There was such a thing as respect for a lady...

And AC made a mental note have a few words with Bart about holding his tongue. Now he knew what Cordelia must have felt like when his friends judged her without knowing anything and they were trustworthy humans.

"Doyle?" Cordelia half chuckled. "For a start, he drank too much and his taste in clothing was like a Greek tragedy, though AC's attire isn't that much better. I mean, green and orange? But Doyle... He could be really sweet sometimes. He was half demon. A secret he kept from me for like ever, which I still don't get. I mean, hello. I work for a vampire and I've known a slayer since high school, but whatever and Doyle knew that."

AC inwardly frowned.

Yes this Doyle guy was important to Cordelia and it was obvious Doyle had designs on Cordelia, who had returned the feelings somewhat, but what she just said...

It reminded him of so many men in the League, Clark Kent in particular, who were scared about divulging their second life to the woman they loved. So scared to trust women, but hearing it now from the opposite side of the fence, Arthur felt like blushing. Not all women were emotionally fragile creatures unable to handle the day-to-day life of a male hero and it wrong to underestimate them just because of gender and the fact they weren't directly involved with the League.

"Sexist." Barney stated with a smile that AC would class as genuine.

The swimmer responded without thinking. "Tell me about it, dude. I've never thought about it as sexist before, but it is and they totally are." He would be damned if he'd treat Cordelia with that level of disrespect.

"I don't know what it is. I don't know." Cordelia's frustrated voice disrupted his thoughts. "Maybe I can look again, get a better idea."

Concern showed on Arthur's face. "It hurt you enough the first time."

"Yeah, but nobody knows what it is." She pointed out. "If I start drooling, will one of you kiss me? Again."

AC laughed and pulled her close enough for him to kiss her forehead. "If you start drooling, I'll pretend I'm giving a strip tease. Deal?"

He musta said something else right because she turned to him and he felt her nose against his chest. "Do I get to put dollar bills in your pants?"

"I'd prefer you in my pants."

He literally felt her smile before he saw and when he did see it, he knew she was the girl he was gonna marry. Man, Cordelia's smile was everything he ever dreamed about. God, her smile held nothing back.

Her smile was so amazing, the beauty mark on her right cheek disappeared under her wavy hair, and he saw all her teeth and her eyes glowed. "So you like the crude if it comes from someone you know."

"That wasn't crude. That was wishful thinking."

AC had a feeling he was one of the few people who saw her for who she actually was, instead of just some girl who spoke her mind. He thought about pulling the old yawn and stretch game to put his arm around, but she was too straight forward for those types of games.

So he simply draped an arm around her shoulders and made a point of squeezing her a bit too tight. "Damn right it was wishful thinking. Now get sketching again."

He laughed when Cordelia groaned her annoyance, then laughed even more when she set about properly drawing what she saw in her vision all the while pouting like a professional. While she did that, he kept a close eye on Barney, only taking his attention from the demon when his woman held up the paper.

"That's it. That's all I keep seeing." She held up the yellow paper pad Angel had given her. "Just this."

"If you trust me, I can send a photo of this to Chloe. She's the best at this sorta stuff." AC offered. It would also give him a chance to send out the red alert that something was about to go down and his gut told him Barney was up to his eyeballs in it.

"You think?" She asked with hope in her voice. "She could really find out what this is? It'd make life so much easier. Since Doyle, Angel and I have just kinda been keeping our heads above water, you know?"

Suddenly, earlier words from Cordelia popped into his head. _Tries to steal your eyes_, she'd said, or something to that effect. Those words solidified his gut instinct that the gray blobby thing was not out for the demon, but for her eyes and the Barney dude definitely had something to do with it.

"I do. Gimme your sketch and sit tight. I'll get this sent to the boys." AC took the paper and slipped his cell out of his pocket, not moving from the love seat until after he gave her cheek a reassuring kiss.

He moved to the far side of Angel's apartment to get some privacy before dialled home. Now, how to get the message across without alerting an empathic demon...

The light bulb lit up again. "Calling all occupants of interplanetary craft." No-one could say he wasn't creative with code language.

"_Go ahead, Fishstick_."

AC didn't bother to take the bait. "You on call tonight?"

"_Read you loud and clear_."

"Sending image."

"_Copy, Archer out_."

The swimmer quickly took a picture of Cordelia's sketch and within seconds, it was sent to the hands of Miss Know-It-All. He grinned as he turned the tracker on then made his way back to the couch.

Chloe would hand him his ass if she knew what he secretly called her, despite the affectionate meaning behind it.

AC smiled when he sat and nudged her with his shoulder, then frowned when a replying smile didn't make an appearance. Concern rose up. "I'm not just a handsome face and great kisser, you know. Been told I'm also a damn good listener, too."

Her lips flickered a little. "That right?"

"I'd believe him." Barney interrupted as he sat down on a free chair. "He just screams of sensitivity. In a manly way, of course."

Cordelia glared at the intruder. "You hear him say he's a good listener and see his physical show of moral support and say he's sensitive? Amazing."

The demon raised his hands in submission. "Hey, I'm just saying. I'd take him up on the offer if I were you. Maybe I can help?"

AC didn't have a chance to stop the brunette from talking about her visions and as curious as he was, he really didn't want that demon to know anything.

Cordelia huffed. "Not unless you can tell me why I have to suffer skull splitting migraines with scratch n sniff visions that are so vague, they require an in depth transcript."

The swimmer internally groaned before he set about keeping her from blabbing as much info as possible. "I hate to remark on the hostess with the mostess, but I'm outta wat..."

"Do I look like a waitress to you?" She snapped. "Anyway, Doyle had these... Brain flashes, like messages from the PTB."

"More coffee? Cordy, Barney?" AC asked loudly in an effort to get attention away from Cordelia's need to talk to anyone who would listen to her pain. He'd gladly listen to her all week if she would just take a hint and keep quiet, a word he figured that wasn't in her vocab.

The demon's next question put a stop to his effort. "PTB?"

"Powers That Be." She replied simply. "And coffee sounds good. Milk, two sugars in mine."

AC felt like wiping his brow, but instead found himself staring into two beautiful hazel eyes. "Anything you want, Cor."

Nothing, and he really meant nothing, was emever/em gonna happen to those eyes.

XXX

Barney looked to over his shoulder to ensure the seer and the meta-human were engaged with themselves. Their emotions were like freaking billboard signs and as much fun as it would be to toy, he had bigger fish to fry. Saying that, he'd definitely spare some time to play with the seer, but she wasn't alone and metas were known for increased strength.

He grinned as he thought about which meta was now in his hands and the price he'd get for his catch. Oh, there were prices for all the metas, but the more elusive ones made for a bigger pay day. Since the one referred to as Aquaman hardly ever showed his face, no doubt due to his nature, he was right up there with Cyborg and Impulse.

Green Arrow was in a league of his very own and with a price of his very own, too. Barney rubbed his hands together at the mere thought of catching that one, but apparently that was for one man and one man alone. Once his success with the fish reached the grapevine, it was certain this man would be happy to negotiate, especially when word got out he also captured a human seer.

Then after that there was, of course, their handler. Nobody knew who it was, only that the handler went by the name Watchtower and Barney could dream of capturing that one. The coin the handler would bring would be astronomical and if Watchtower was caught, then all the others would fall to their knees with the weight of that do gooder guilty feeling of failure to protect.

Oh yes.

Today was going to be a very good day for the pockets.

The demon doubled checked the couple before he slipped his phone out of his pocket and dialled. "It's me. Yes, I got the Kungai horn. What do you take me for? Of course it's in a safe place. Listen. I've found something even better."

He hung up before the two could take notice and ever so carefully began a leisurely stroll around. "I gotta say." And hell if he didn't hate his innocent voice. "Angel has some nice digs."

A conversation would see how distracted they were and the seer's offhanded, "Angel's totally anal when it comes to his place," told him she was more focused on the meta.

Barney fingered a large weapon, but decided against it as it would cause too much damage and injuries lowered the price. He needed something smaller, preferably without blade, so he kept looking. The vampire had a lot of choice and some would earn a pretty coin, yet nothing seemed to suit his needs.

Well, except for the telephone cord which would come in handy for tying the seer up and wasn't that just a tasty image?

He looked over his shoulder again, this time his attention on Cordelia's body rather than what she was doing. So what if she was a filthy human? She still had tits and ass, didn't she?

Barney smirked as he imagined what she'd look while being screwed by a demon.

XXX

While he'd been laughing and joking around with Cordelia, AC had also been keeping his eyes and ears firmly open. To say he didn't trust Barney was the understatement of understatements. Being what he was, he had the extraordinary ability to conduct vibrations, much in the same way a shark would pick up on the easy meal of a fish in distress.

Since Cordelia had implied today marked her first vision, the swimmer knew it was impossible for the demon to know about it beforehand. This made AC wonder if Barney had come to Angel with genuine reasons. At least, until Cordelia made it world knowledge she was now the proud owner of visions.

When that little slice of info got out, the demon's air had changed. Not much, but in a subtle way that spoke loud and clear of bad intentions. Unfortunately heightened his anxiety and he was afraid.

Afraid for her and afraid for himself. How the hell was he supposed to fight a demon? How strong were they? What was Barney's weaknesses and more to the point, did he have any?

AC took a deep breath to calm himself. He wouldn't be any good to Cordelia if he flipped out. If only they were in the water, he could the demon to the fish.

"Ah, but we're not." Barney's voice was now devoid of all the pretence of innocence.

"We're not what?" Cordelia asked, confused at the sudden change in demeanour.

"Your boyfriend here wants to go play with the fishies. He doesn't want to be around you anymore than Doyle did."

AC's jaw clenched tight. "You wanna shut your mouth or I'll..."

"Shut it for me? So much bravado for one so weak and useless."

"Hey." Cordelia scowled. "He's not useless."

"Ask him yourself." Barney nodded to the swimmer. "Why do you think his friends never call him in when the going gets tough? Because he's useless anywhere except the pretty blue sea. Why do you think he rang his special little buddies to come blazing to the rescue?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." She snapped back and fully faced the demon, her arms crossed over her chest and defiance written all over her face.

Barney simply chuckled in a way that brought AC's anger to the boil. "I know more than you. Which isn't that hard when I think about it. Go on, Fish Food. Tell her all about Dark Thursday. That ring a bell? Or should I say make a wave?"

The instant Cordelia looked at him was the same instant AC saw her trust ebbing away.

"Dark Thursday?" She asked, her voice a little too quiet and hell if AC didn't wanna smash his horny freaking head in with his bare hands.

"All this turmoil is delicious," he grinned. "Poor, poor Cordelia with her delusions of an acting career.

"I'm sorry?" She hissed.

Barney grinned all the more. "Yes, you are. You both are. Pathetic, really. The perfect couple. One out of his depth and the other so shallow, even her friend couldn't tell her the truth. Isn't that right?"

"If he couldn't tell her truth, then he didn't know her."

"Oh, he knew her. Knew how selfish she is, knew how annoying she is. All that me, me, me made him want to die just to get away from her."

"You're lying." Cordelia's voice broke AC's heart.

"Am I?" Barney asked, almost congenially. "That's what you feel."

AC narrowed his eyes dangerously and made a point not to notice the demon was busy fiddling with what looked like the phone cord. He didn't think, didn't feel about what he was going to do.

He just acted.

One half full coffee pot was violently hurled right towards Barney's head, Arthur followed the trajectory and gave physically what the demon gave verbally. As suspected, the demon had a bit of strength behind him and he stagger back from a punch to the abdomen.

"Get out, Cordy." AC shouted, then sent his fist crashing into the demon's face.

"Like hell! Did you hear what he said about my career?"

"This isn't the time." Agony exploded in his brain when two horns collided with his skull, the sudden and heavy impact seriously knocked him for six. Dizziness swept through him, closely followed by a sense of failure that increased when he hit the floor.

Damn, _damn_.

Angel left Cordelia in his protection and he failed.

Oh God, he'd failed doing what he vowed to do.

Barney was right.

He was fucking _useless_.

The pain was so blinding, AC could hardly open his eyes and when he did, panic made his chest tight.

Cordelia had stalked right up to Barney. "You wanna know what we feel? Pain!" And slammed her knee straight up into the demon's crotch. "How do you like that?"

"Not as much as I like this."

AC watched as Barney landed a full fisted smack to her face that had enough force to render her unconscious. It was horrifying to see her laying there, unmoving, but at least she was breathing and that was something to be grateful for.

"You don't know who you're dealing with, asshole." The swimmer managed through the pounding in his head.

"Unlike you, I do know who I'm dealing with. Now say goodnight."

The last thing AC saw was the foot of a much bigger demon coming down to his head.

The vampire arched a brow. "Nice apology, Cordy."

She beamed. "Wasn't it?"

AC chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Water's fine all by itself. Too much additives can ruin the natural refreshing taste of H2O." He took a good, long drink to prove his point and set the glass down with a hearty _ahhh_.

"Wow, you really do have it on for her." Barney stated as he stared at the meta-human with wide eyes.

Cordelia instantly turned on the demon. "Enough with the crude already. Can't a waterboy show his appreciation with a shred of decency? What's the world coming to, I ask."

"It's _man_!"

After already hearing this conversation, Angel took the opportunity to end it before it began again. He swallowed the rest of his coffee. "I'll go check out your apartment. See what I can find. Cordy, concentrate on your vision."

"You think the blobby thing is the machine?" She asked.

The vampire nodded. "Could be." He looked at AC. "You, stay here."

Arthur gave a swift salute, pleased Cordelia's boss turned to him to protect her and not the demon. "Understood."

"Good. Barney, think of as much information as possible. If the... Blobby thing is after you, then it's a very dangerous... Blobby thing."

The demon nodded. "Maybe I can help with the vision. After all, it's the least I can do. Well, if the meta-human trusts me to read his sweetheart, which I don't think he does."

Angel didn't even blink as he put his jacket on. "I don't trust either of you. Cordy, I've got my cell on. Call me if you need me."

Then he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

"Watchtower online." Chloe spoke into the communicator and waited.

"_Arrow online_."

"_Impulse online_."

"_Stargirl online_."

"_Cyborg online_."

"Open comm."

"_Copy that, Tower_."

"Match has been found, Watchtower." Mia alerted. "Sculpture by Van Gieson. Maiden With Urn. Sold in '82 to the Ramsey Hotel Chain. Twelve in the chain between here and San D."

"Impulse, object is in one of twelve Ramsey hotels."

"_On it... No sign, Watchtower. I repeat no sign. Double checking_... _Still nothing_."

Chloe ground her teeth in frustration.

Of all the things Arthur Curry had to get them into, it was looking for an... "Ugly gray blobby thing." She murmured, her mind instantly conjured the image of the brunette who had pounced on AC earlier.

Chloe sucked in a breath.

That girl had seen this coming in a very literal way and it jump started her brain quicker than the red alert AC gave twenty minutes before. There was obviously a helluva lot more to that girl than any of them realised and to get answers, she needed to be found.

"Keep searching. We find that, we find Brunette and Aquaman." Chloe made sure that by her tone, they all understood the way this sudden mission was now also a manhunt.

"_Anything for you_."

"_Knock it off, Impulse_."

Chloe's green eyes rolled. "Cyborg, Stargirl, status report."

"_Both on site_."

"Hold your position and wait for my mark. Arrow?"

"_Going in, thank God. Sewers are gross_."

Chloe smiled at the disgust that would be on Ollie's face right about now. "I'm sure you'll live. Stargirl, Cyborg. There's an executive office opposite the front door, both an elevator and staircase to the right. Take the stairs."

"_Impulse to Watchtower. Still no statue_."

"Copy that, Impulse. Head to main target."

"_On site_."

"_Arrow to Sidekick. Aquaman and Brunette MIA. Tracker's on the floor._"

"Damnit." Chloe hissed and clenched her hands in frustration.

"_Impulse to Watchtower. This place is a ninjas wet dream_."

"_Put the axe down, Impulse_."

"_I was only playing_."

Chloe shook her head. "Stargirl, get your boy under control."

"_Done_."

"_That hurt_!"

"_Good. Arrow, there's blood on the floor_."

This was going from bad to worse, she thought angrily. "Watchtower to Cyborg, fingerprints if you please."

"_Sent_."

"Fingerprint analysis underway." Mia informed, her gaze not once straying from the screen in front of her. "Cordelia Chase, nineteen years old." She looked at Chloe then. "She's just nineteen."

"_We'll find her, Arrow Two. We'll find em both_."

"Whoa. Who's the big dude?"

Chloe and Mia exchanged identical expressions that spoke of sheer unease that lasted until the younger girl got ready to dial Clark. "Talk to me, Impulse."

"Papa bear's come home."

"_Who the hell are you and where is Cordelia_?"

"_Oh my... Are you wearing tights_?"

"_They're not tights_!"

"_I won't ask again. Where. Is. Cordelia_?"

"_Easy there, big fella. We have common interests_."

"_Is that right_?"

"Will somebody please talk to me?" Chloe hollered down the comm.

"_I don't know who you are, but if you've hurt her or her friend, I'll snap your neck myself_."

It took a second for Chloe to figure out that by friend, the man meant AC. "Watchtower to Papa Bear. If my hunch is correct, then your girl and my guy are in one of twelve hotels. Object to find is Maiden With Urn. Van..."

"_Gieson. I know it_."

"It was seen, but can't be found."

"_She's right. I checked like fifteen times and nada_."

"_Hidden_."

"_Hello, sorry to interrupt. My name is_..."

"No names, English. Don't know who's listening."

"_Of course, of course. This is all very James Bond if I may say. You're looking for the hotel holding an auction_."

Chloe frowned, as did Mia. "Papa Bear, explain."

"_There's a demon collecting powers. Healing hands, poison tongue. The physical source has been forcefully removed_."

"Oh my God." Mia breathed and stared at the blonde woman next to her.

"_Not the time for culture shock_."

"No, Papa Bear." Mia exclaimed. "Your friend had a vision. Her eyes. They're gonna bid on her eyes and they're gonna take them. That's what she said earlier. That something was gonna take her eyes out. You have to find her and Aquaman."

"Tower to Impulse. Do your thing, but don't and I repeat, don't enter. This isn't our usual ballgame. Understand?"

"_Copy that, Watchtower... Found it. It's the one down on Fourth... Erm, Tower_?"

Chloe held her breath. "Go ahead, Impulse."

"_We need Boyscout_."

"_No we don't. Papa Bear and English have already left the building_."

"Arrow, Cyborg, Stargirl. Follow the breadcrumbs. Tower out."

"_Copy that and keep open comm. League out_."

Chloe was about to take a few moments to get her head together when Mia spoke up.

"Erm, Watchtower?"

Olive green eyes slowly looked at the brunette who was sporting one unreadable expression while pointing to the large laptop screen in front of her. "What is it?"

"I set the laptop away with the second set of fingerprints Cyborg sent and had to use the hacking virus."

Chloe shifted her chair so she could see what Mia seemed unable to tell her. She took in the first photograph, which was a dark haired man who had a gaze that seemed to go right through her. The second photograph showed the same man standing in front of a small blonde female, the third photograph was the man with the brunette AC kissed and a smaller dark haired man.

She continued down the file and her lungs ceased to work as she read. "1753, Liam killed and turned by Darla. 1753, Liam slaughters his way through his village of Galway in Ireland, starting with the cemetery groundskeeper. He took on the name Angelus after his sister, Kathy, mistook him for an angel after he returned from the dead."

"Keep reading." Chloe heard Mia half squeak.

"1860, Angelus meets Drusilla and kills her family before he drives her insane and turns her on the night she takes the vows to be a nun." The file went on and on with atrocities Angel committed. Atrocities that came to a halt in the year 1889, where it said. "Darla gave Angelus a gypsy girl as a birthday present and the gypsy tribe took their revenge by cursing Angelus with a soul."

After that, there was a list of good deeds right up until Angelus lost his soul after having sex with a girl named Buffy Summers. Following that, there was another list of bad deeds that began with a woman called Jenny Calendar and ended with something called Acathla, a statue that would have sucked the world into a hell dimension if it hadn't been stopped by Buffy Summers.

Numbly, Chloe called for attention. "Watchtower to Arrow. Do not turn your back on Papa Bear, you hear me?"

"_Arrow to Tower, sounds like we need a debrief_."

"No joking, Archer."

"_Gotcha. Back to open comm_."

Chloe inhaled a good, long deep breath and slowly exhaled. "This information came from a law firm?" Instead of waiting for Mia to answer, she did the job herself and found the law firm had something to do with the auction.

"What the hell have we gotten into?"

XXX

Pain pricked hot and hard behind his eyelids and AC groaned when that same pain shot down the back of his neck. He groaned as he used what strength he had to roll onto his side and despite the heavy throb in his skull, looked to see where he was.

What appeared to be various mutilated parts lay on cushions, sat in jars, and propped up so they looked their best. Horns, hands, feet, a beating heart...

Bile filled his throat as he saw the parts belonged to humans and demons alike, and not one came without a tag. A tag with numbers.

What sort of place tagged things with numbers?

The fog clouding him made it difficult to think, but it eventually dawned on him that it could very well be an auction. If this was an auction and he was here, then she would be here too.

He'd promised to protect her, to take care of her and he'd spectacularly failed. Hell, she'd taken matters into her own hands and attacked while he'd fell to the floor like a jackass.

Seriously, what kinda guy did that to his girl? So what if Cordelia wasn't his girl, he'd still promised she would be okay and her eyes...

Oh God.

An auction.

That's why they were here, that's why Cordelia was here. He'd give ten dollars to say that ugly gray blobby thing was around here somewhere...

AC knew he wasn't the brightest spark, but he could add two and two together.

Cordelia's vision hadn't been about Barney, it had been about her. About what she saw before her eyes were taken.

He tried to make a sound, but the gag in his mouth muffled the noise and so he struggled to sit up, but he was weak and it was a weakness he knew only too well.

Dehydration.

He needed water and a lot of it. The four glasses he'd had at the office was less than a drop in the ocean compared to what he truly needed to sustain himself, but she was here and she would need his help.

A very small, very feminine noise was heard and damn if it wasn't music to his ears. She sounded somewhere behind him, which meant he had to turn over.

Dehydration and lack of strength or no, he was going to get her out and save her eyes.

AC started to rock a little, slowly gathering enough speed to give the momentum needed to get onto his other side. It took three attempts, but he finally made it in time to see Cordelia open her eyes. Apart from a forming bruise on her face, she appeared just fine and relief coursed through him.

She also seemed to be pretty comfortable, what with laying on a pink satin cushioned sofa or something. Sure she was tied up and a white gage in her mouth, but either way, she could be in a worse position than what she already was.

He closed his eyes only to open them when she made another noise and he watched her head shake. He tried to convey he didn't understand, but his energy was rapidly depleting and all he wanted to do was sleep. If he did give in to the weakness, she would be left alone to face the fate of having her eyes take pride of place among the stolen parts.

She shook her head again and worry flashed in those irises.

At first, AC thought she meant his possible sickly appearance, but her head gestured up and he enough strength to turn his head to follow her line of sight.

A statue was what he saw and not just any statue, but a gray one with three lumps that was the real life version of her depiction.

AC turned back to Cordelia, only to see hands roughly grab her and haul her off the floor.

"Do you mind?" She snapped.

"Put the gag back in."

"Are you serious? You've already bruised the merchandise."

"Merchandise?" AC heard her ask with a hiss in her voice and he almost felt sorry for the people who had her.

"Your pretty eyes are up for sale and after you, we have the meta."

Crap, crap and double crap with crap on the side.

"In case Barney here hasn't already figured it out, the meta and I are a team." Cordelia stated with confidence. "Oh yeah. I'm sure Barney here wanted to keep you in the dark about this one. After all, a vision girl and a man who sails the seven seas isn't to be sniffed at. I see the locations of buried treasure and Aquaman finds it."

AC swallowed as much as he could as an argument occurred right above his aching head.

"Is that true, Barney?"

"Who are you gonna believe? Your partner for five years or a filthy human whose due for extraction?"

"I don't care which one of you believes it." Cordelia yelled loudly. "AC is with me. He's the yang to my ying. I see, he go finds and we splits the profits. See the locket I'm wearing? It's Tiffany's. They made it for me out of horse hair from my Keanu. The diamonds are full Tiffany diamonds."

AC made a mental note too beg Ollie to get her a horse.

"No, don't you dare.. Don't you dare... " She shrieked in outrage. "That was my pendant, you asshole. They took my Keanu and you took my necklace which is all I have left. You're worse than the IRS. Yeah. That's right. You have filthy human counterparts."

Arthur saw her triumphant smirk and he made a mental note to beg Ollie to get her Keanu back.

"AC, I'll get us out of this, I swear it... Hey! Get your hands off me, you pervert!"

The swimmer struggled against his bonds as he watched Cordelia as she fought against hers.

Water, he knew. He needed water and lots of it. Once water came his way, then those who had her would pay a hefty price.

He started to work his jaw up and down, moving his lips and using his tongue to get the gag out all the while trying to loosen the rope around his wrists. It wasn't working because he was too weak and the sledge hammer in skull wasn't letting up.

AC roared against the gag when he saw Cordelia get dragged off someplace.

"I told you! AC and I are a team! I see the treasure and he... Ow! I mean it! You want me, then you bring him, too. How many times do I have to tell you he's my partner? Yes, I'm serious! What, you're gonna take Barney's word over your own?"

"She's not gonna shut up until we bring the meta."

"Damn right I won't. AC? AC!"

Barney rolled his eyes as he shoved Cordelia into the arms of his partner. "Watch her while I get her boy."

Arthur didn't have time to sigh in relief before he was hauled up off the floor and the gag pulled out of his mouth. "Cordelia?"

His neck was suddenly surrounded by two slender arms. "I knew you'd be okay. How's your head? What did they do to you? Lemme see."

AC was about to push her away and make sure she was okay, but her lips started to move against his cheek.

"Angel will come. We just have to buy some time."

"Alright, alright." Barney pulled Cordelia from him. "That's enough for the love birds. Bring em both along. You never know, she might be right. They might bring us double and remember. No more bruising, especially around the eyes. We get an extra thou if the seer's eyes are fully intact."

His partner glared. "I wasn't the one who bruised her in the first place."

"Shouldn't you be cataloguing gypsy flesh?" Barney asked in a huff, then gave a swift nod to someone else who came along to grab the swimmer.

Though he was pulled back, AC tried to keep as close to Cordelia as he could and it was a blessing when they were both pushed onto a stage in front of a roomful of...

Well, he didn't know what.

"Testing, testing." Barney said and earning himself one or two laughs. "Now do I have a treat for you. On one side, I have the beautiful eyes of a human seer and on the other, I have the meta-human known as Aquaman. Lets start the bidding at four thousand dollars."

AC was horrified to watch someone raise their paddle. This was one of the sickest things he'd ever been involved in.

"Five thousand dollars." Barney stated happily. "They come as a team... Ah, six thousand dollars. Six gets me seven. Do I hear seven?"

No-one responded.

One glance from her was all it took for him to understand they had to keep the bidding going.

"Oh, come on, guys!" Cordelia half yelled, irritated. "You pay twice this for cataracts. I mean look at us! I'm a hottie and he's... Pretty muscular actually."

AC puffed up his chest and flashed a grin full of arrogance. "Check these babies out..." He flexed his pecs for the crowd.

"Eight, nine, ten..."

She stared at the audience in disbelief. "He gets bid on and I get nothing? Come on, people! Where's your taste?"

"Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen."

Cordelia shot AC a look that was pure triumph. "Much better."

He snorted. "You got the mouth, lady, but I can take off my top. Hey, Barney dude. You want the figures, then get some scissors."

"You wouldn't dare!"

AC simply grinned. "Naturist here, honey. The nude is my thing."

"Oh my God! You can't let him do that, Barney. It's not fair!"

The demon gave her objection no consideration whatsoever. "Hank get the scissors. Don't worry, Cordelia. I always play fair when it comes to money. Her top, too."

AC gave himself a mental smack to the face when panic washed over Cordelia's face.

"Oops?" He offered lamely.

"Oops? OOOPS? My all is gonna be drooled over and masturbation fodder and all you can say is _oops_?" She looked at Barney. "Please don't cut my top off."

"You were the one who mentioned fair." He replied and smiled. "We wouldn't to disappoint the good folks in the audience, would we?" With that said, he took the scissors to Cordelia's top first, speaking in a voice just low enough for her and AC to hear. "Keep up that smiling."

The ruined top was taken away and Cordelia chase felt the full onslaught of a mortification only had when two dozen eyes were focused on her person. "Angel will come and he'll make you pay for this, you ugly creep." She hissed, then turned back to the audience with a large fake smile on her face.

AC tried, honestly tried, not too look at her chest, but he was a red blooded male whose twelve month drought made his effort pointless. Breasts were full and round, encased and enhanced in a bra that probably matched her panties. Her skin was tanned a rich, deep gold and was beautifully flawless, all bar a scar on the left side of her abdomen.

She must have saw where his attention now lay because she looked away for a moment before she met his gaze, silently daring him to comment on it.

He closed his eyes in yet another attempt at being a gent, but the image was burned onto his brain. God, he just knew she'd be a handful.

He forced his eyes to open so he could see what his stalling plan brought.

Her expression was unreadable as she stood there, arms tied behind her back, wholly unable to keep any shred of dignity and it was all his stupid fault.

Anger literally burned in his veins as AC let Barney in on what he was gonna do. "When I get out of this, you and I are gonna go for a nice, long swim."

The threat had little to no effect on the demon.

Barney made a final snip of the scissors before he gave a grand gesture to the interested crowd. "There we have it, my fine fellows. The last bid stood at fourteen thousand dollars. Will there be more?"

"Eighteen." One demon spoke up.

"Twenty." Another.

"Twenty two thousand for the meta. I have no interest in the seer."

This time the panic belonged to AC when silence followed that particular bid. He had to keep it up to buy more time. "Hey ladies, I can breathe under water." He waggled his eyebrows to get the message across.

"Twenty five thousand!"

"Twenty six."

A well dressed woman wearing glasses rose from her seat. "Sixty thousand for the pair."

"Sold to the lawyer from Wolfram and Hart." Barney slammed the gavel down.

"Oh no." Cordelia muttered. "And this couldn't get any worse."

XXX

Cordelia felt evil, like Angelusy sort of evil.

Sure, AC might not be of the human variety, but that didn't mean he deserved to be dragged into the demonic soap opera that was her life. All she'd wanted was to get rid of the visions and the killer pain that came with them, and go back to her world of no fame and slightly more than average pay check.

It wasn't until her conversation with AC that she saw the proverbial light and to say it sickened her was an understatement.

"I don't believe that for a second." He'd said and he was right, but had that stopped her from turning into a well moisturised version of Buffy?

No.

_I didn't ask for it blah blah blah. I don't want it blah blah blah. I want it out of me blah blah blah. Whiny much? And wasn't just this very morning I was whining about Doyle not having a special coffee mug? Which is it, Chase? You want something to remember him by or you want it all gone? Besides, it wasn't as if Doyle had anything else to give you._

Now because of her whining, the poor none human had just been bought for sixty thousand dollars.

Sixty thousand for the both of them, which meant a paltry thirty thousand for each and how insulting was that? Seriously, thirty thousand?

The lawyer worked for Wolfram Hart. Surely they knew decent goods when they saw it. After all, it wasn't everyday a vision girl came up on the block accompanied by...

Whatever the hell AC was. Fact was, he was a nice guy or seemed like a nice guy, so he didn't deserve any of this, but then again who did? And what was to say he hadn't gotten into trouble worse than this? Which, given his circumstances, he probably had.

"The eyes are to be extracted. We don't need the body." Lawyer's voice brought Cordelia out of her thoughts.

What?

"No!"

"That will be an extra thou."

The lawyer rolled her eyes. "Please, extraction is always included in the price."

"Ah, but there's never been such a thing."

Satan's evil toady huffed. "Fine."

She shot a panicked stare at AC, who was grinning for some reason. The first thing that popped into her head was he was in on the whole auction thing, but then he winked at her.

Actually winked a full on, teasing little wink which made her jaw drop. She was about to get her eyes taken out and he was playing the cocky Romeo?

Cordelia had no time to question it when a body came flying through the air and oh, she had never been so happy to see Angel in her life. Seconds later the sprinkler system kicked in and seconds after that, a guy decked out in green leather crashed through the window.

"Sorry I took so long." Green Guy said, voice distorted. "Allow me, Miss."

Her bonds were instantly sliced and freedom was _bliss_.

The ruined material of AC's shirt was draped over her and she found herself staring at AC, somewhat surprised. He'd looked a little pale, almost sickly, five minutes ago, but now he looked...

"Wow."

Cordelia felt herself dragged out of the line of fire, which meant all she could do was watch as violent mayhem turned the room upside down with Angel and AC right in the thick of it.

"Excuse me?"

She blinked as she faced a girl in costume. "Hi."

What else could she say?

The girl smiled apologetically. "Sorry about what I said earlier. You know, about your..." Her hands gestured to her chest.

"Oh. Sure. Forget about it."

Sometimes, she had the weirdest conversations with the weirdest people.

XXX

Arthur knew Angel was some sort of demon or whatever, but he never gave it a second thought until he watched the guy perform a roundhouse kick. The sheer brutal, raw power behind it almost took his breath away. Hell, even Ollie and Bart gaped as the dude left a trail of unconscious bodies in his wake.

Clark Kent, and to a lesser extent Victor, all had extra strength, but they held back where Angel did not. Cordelia's boss was obviously on a mission of revenge and he tore through the crowd, throwing punches and kicks without breaking a sweat.

If this was a demonstration of a demon's capabilities, then he didn't feel so ashamed of having his ass kicked by Barney.

"Wes, get Cordy out of here." Angel snarled and AC saw a bespectacled man in a tailored white suit.

Crap.

Cordelia.

He'd been too busy watching Angel's fighting prowess that he'd given no thought to her safety. If he'd felt like a jackass earlier, then he felt like a total dickwad now.

Movement was caught out the corner of his eye and he saw Barney trying to weasel a way to safety. Yeah, he really didn't think so. "Hey, bitch. Come n get it."

The demon glared hell before he barrelled right into him, the impact sending them both slamming to the ground. AC gave a wide grin then oh so happily smashed his fist straight into Barney's jaw and relished in the replying crack. "That was for Cordy..."

The swimmer swiftly got to his feet and hauled the demon up by his collar. "This is for everyone you've killed." A knee into the abdomen. "And this is just cos I feel like it."

He let the falling water power him up just that little more and literally threw Barney halfway across the room, where Cordelia finished what he started. "Feel this feeling, creepo."

AC watched, satisfied, as Barney's life force was sucked out of him, leaving a gray and crackled corpse.

He was about to go get her when he found himself face to face with the female lawyer who made the winning bid of sixty grand and then tried to get Cordy's eyes extracted for free.

She looked almost surprised at the fact she was caught and that might have stopped him, but she smirked and went to hand him a business card.

"Give me a call." She said and Arthur Curry felt something inside him snap.

He was angry. No, scratch that. He was furious.

It was a type of fury that boiled and curdled the blood, made him think of things that had no place in the Justice League. Pictured himself taking her for a swim and holding her down under water, imagined himself listening to the sound of someone drowning and enjoying it.

This woman negotiated over the extraction of somebody's eyes and it sickened him.

"You stand for of everything I hate." AC heard himself say, unable to take his gaze off her.

The human body was seventy five percent water and he focused, manipulated those molecules so they moved faster, made them expand and double in her lungs. He vaguely saw terror on her face as pressure increased in her veins, but he didn't stop.

Couldn't stop.

Wanted her feel what Cordelia would have felt, what all those victims had to feel as they maimed and mutilated. He kept going, kept all those watery atoms increasing, forcing them to fill her lungs.

"Holy _shit_..."

"He's killing her."

"Aquaman!"

"Did anyone know he could do that? I didn't know he could do that."

"Oh for the love of..."

A hand slapped his face sharply before he was pushed away. "Snap out of it."

AC blinked once, twice and that... that fury began to dissipate as he stared up into two stunning hazel eyes that were safely in their proper place. Someone was choking and gasping for breath and hitting their own chest.

He looked around to see the evil lawyer on her knees, coughing up water as she stared at him in something akin to absolute horror.

"Leave her." Cordelia's voice penetrated through what remained of his anger. "She was gonna take my eyes. She deserves it."

"She's human. We don't kill humans." AC couldn't tear his gaze off the woman and what he'd done to her.

Cordy waved off his words with a pfft. "Like that'll ever happen. It's Wolfram and Hart. Those folks have a kink on for this stuff."

He frowned again at the woman. Leaving her like that seemed so wrong and yet, everything in him screamed to do just that.

"Cordy's right." Angel said as he approached them and knelt down, forcing the lawyer's head up by her hair. "Take a message. You ever come for Cordelia again. You deal with me. Got that?" He let her head go.

"And me." AC joined.

"And me."

"And me."

"Follow my leader isn't my thing, but count me in, too."

"Great!" Cordelia plastered a smile on her face as she clapped her hands with sarcastic enthusiasm. "Colour me with an entourage of people in costume. Can we get out of here now? I'd really like to get some clothes on. Preferably dry ones."


End file.
